I hate the effect of sleeping in making you not able to sleep at a reasonable hour. At least tomorrow isn't my early day.
I'm sitting on my bed with my bed lamp on. My giant headphones sit upon my head, but nothing plays through them. However, it maintains the illusion that I can't hear what's going on, which comes in handy when my roommate is actually awake. I can hear movement upstairs, and it makes me wonder which one of the boys are awake upstairs. Either way, they have no way of knowing that I am awake down here, unless they saw my latest facebook post indicating that I AM AWAKE.
Easter Break has come and gone. Seeing that I go to a LCMS (Lutheran Church Missouri Synod) college, (despite the fact that I am ELCA Lutheran), we can actually call it Easter Break instead of trying to make it neutral for the Jewish holidays. Not that I mind being politically correct, but sometimes it's just easier to say Easter Break rather than Easter/Passover break. Anyway, what was supposed to be a break didn't feel like a break. Everytime I'm home I feel like I do more work than necessary. However, I appreciate the fact that my mom enforced the "Let Emily sleep in" plan this morning. Definitely needed it, even though I'm paying for it now.
Slowly but surely this school year is coming to a close. Then i will have complete 2 years of college. God, that makes me feel old. My brother recently commited to a school himself recently. Made me feel even older. College ages you in ways you never thought of. For example, no matter how many times I bitches about exhausting my brain's capacity in high school, it did not compare to how I feel most of the time learning at college. I'm mentally drained on a regular basis. It doesn't help that this semester I see the same teachers for multiple classes. It makes me get sick of them faster, therefore I mentally check out earlier in the semester. Meanwhile I have 2 HUGE papers to write, a final project to think about, finals, and a trip to Rome to prepare for. It's not a good time to check out.
I'm just trying not to completely overwhelm myself, but I gotta say, it's not working so well. Budgeting my time is going to get harder, especially since I seem to live in a house full of volleyball-paying nazis who insist upon having you play with them, despite how much work you have to get done. I like these people, but seriously, how much volleyball can a person take? I'm starting to become unhinged, and people are starting to notice, expecially when I make comments about people who annoy us in conversation. They start to walk on eggshells a little when I mention that I have a list of people who I might actually attack or snap in half someday. But honestly, if they were on it, I wouldn't have told them about it, right? ;)
My gosh it's getting late. 9 minutes til 2 am at this point. If I put this kind on energy into writing papers one of them would probably be done right now.
I'm tired, but I can't sleep. I can't concentrate on school. I can't seem to focus on anything important. I wish I could play with my singing monkey and make him sing, but he'll wake up my roommate. I need my own room. I'm starting to feel some more drowsiness. But I'm not ready for tomorrow to come. I can't face it yet. No matter how many times Annie says the sun will come out tomorrow, I'll be stuck in a day that's gray and lonely. Depressing, right? That's my life these days.
Sorry for the rant, I'm trying (and failing) to tire myself out. I just realized how long this post is. Starting to look like the last Harry Potter book. Anyway, I'll leave you with a link to this Barenaked Ladies music video, cuz the song basically sums up what my brain is feeling right now.
Pinch Me
Goodnight, gremlins.
